I've Been Feeling Like an Imposter in My Own Life. Here's What Finally Broke It Open.
When the life you built stops fitting, the block isn't failure. It's a signal.
Feeling like an imposter in your own life often means you've been living someone else's version of it, not that you're failing. For Henny the fix was to stop consuming, come back to what she actually wants (the why and the what, not the how), brain-dump without a filter, name what she'd been tolerating, build from instinct for a week, and let the change show.
Key takeaways
- The block is usually a misalignment, not a failure.
- What you consume becomes what you create, so get off the feeds first.
- "Should" is the enemy. Ask what you actually want, and leave the how for later.
- Clarity comes after the brain dump, not before it.
- You don't have to explain your evolution to anyone.
For a long time I've doubted myself. My worth. My expertise. And it all changed from this one thing.
I've been in the health and fitness industry for over a decade. And I almost wanted to quit, because I was so fed up with the s*** I'd been consuming.
If you've been feeling frustrated as hell with your circumstances, let this be your PSA that something needs to change.
From the most unfit woman on the planet to here
My career started from humble roots: being the most unfit woman on the planet. I pretended to have asthma to get out of PE. I'd drive around car parks for ages so I wouldn't have to walk any further. So when I say to women, girl, I GET IT... believe me, I get it.
I wasn't one of those skinny fit women imposing her obsession on others. I was the unfit woman who fell in love with what exercise can do, not just for your body but for your mind. For me it was never about the exterior. It was about the woman you become while you build it. I learnt that behind the front desk at a gym, watching women evolve in front of my eyes.
I started working face to face as a PT, trained by an exercise physiologist. I began my "Beach Body" classes (yes, sadly I was a BBG era victim), then owned my own female transformation gym for many years. Then I moved to Sydney and became an online fitness expert for Lauren Simpson, EHP Labs and Katya Elise Henry. Within six months I was a content strategist. Within 12 months I was leading an 8-figure company through a global pandemic. I've trained hundreds of women face to face and coached thousands more online. I've been educated by some of the best people on the planet, spent hours shadowing elite athletes in Australia, and I spend every spare moment upskilling, because I'm obsessed with being the best at what I do.
Now I own my own app, Feel Good Naked, where I've watched hundreds of women change their lives through mindset, training and nutrition, and through the work on the mind that I've seen make the biggest difference.
And lately... I've been feeling like an imposter in my own life.
Why do I feel like an imposter in my own life?
I know what you're thinking. Hun, you okay? If she feels like an imposter, what hope do the rest of us have? Girl, I've been thinking the exact same thing.
For the last few months I'd been hitting a wall in my visualisation and meditation work. A block. Immovable. Unexplainable. And then the most unexpected moment cracked it wide open.
My Range Rover's exhaust filter was full, which meant driving on the freeway for an hour to clear it. Peak hour. A massive day of tasks I didn't want to do. And something in me just snapped. I came home as Cyclone Henny... got in the shower... and started bawling my eyes out. My boyfriend walked in and I completely broke down.
It wasn't about the car. I was frustrated with my life. Frustrated with where it was going. Split in a million directions, pulled between who I was supposed to be in the fitness industry and who I actually am.
Who I actually am is this: I'm qualified as hell in health and fitness, but I live for the mindset work. For understanding why women do what we do, how we break cycles, and what it takes to become the woman we know we can be. I'm a spiritual gangsta, a savage straight-shooter who lives for a glow-up, the identity shift that has to happen first. And I'm the woman who says the s*** everyone else is too afraid to say.
My boredom with the traditional health and fitness world had been suffocating me, because I was becoming one of the MINIONS I despised. I do not care about 10,000 steps. I could not care less about another "how to hip thrust" tutorial. I'd fallen into the trap of thinking that was what I should be creating, and it was killing my passion. To the point where I told myself I wanted to quit doing the thing I love most in the world.
What I learned (about my brand, and myself)
- What you consume becomes what you create. When I was consuming recycled content I was bored by, I started producing it. The moment I stopped consuming and started creating from my own depth, everything shifted.
- "Should" is the enemy. I should post about macros. I should look like a fitness account. You cannot build a world out of obligation.
- Your evolution is the point. The version of me who started Feel Good Naked was focused on fat loss. The version of me now is obsessed with the identity shift that has to happen before the fat loss is even possible. That's not a pivot. It's growth. Don't be afraid to let people see it.
- The block is usually a misalignment, not a failure. When you can't see forward, it's often because you're trying to see into someone else's version of your life.
How to stop feeling like an imposter: the six steps
- Stop consuming, immediately. Get off the feeds and out of the comparison spiral. You can't hear your own voice when everyone else's is louder.
- Come back to the why and the what, and remove the how. What do you actually want to create? What do you want to be known for? What lights you up? Don't ask how yet. The how kills the idea before it starts.
- Brain dump with no filter. No structure, no strategy. Mind maps, voice notes, messy notes-app paragraphs. Clarity doesn't come before the dump. It comes after.
- Name what you've been tolerating. What feels like a costume? What version of yourself have you been performing that isn't you? Name it, then decide to stop.
- Build from instinct for one week. No strategy. No asking what will perform. Just do what feels true, and see what comes back to life.
- Let your evolution be visible. You don't have to explain the shift or apologise for growing. The people meant to be in your world will recognise the real you faster than they ever recognised the performed one.
Over that week, my spark came back. In little glimmers and lightbulb moments, in plenty of frustration and circles too, but in the beginning of something that finally feels like me again.
The block wasn't a breakdown. It was a breakthrough in disguise, wearing a Range Rover and a peak-hour traffic jam.
Welcome to the rebirth.
Questions
Why do I feel like an imposter in my own life?
Often it's because the life you're living was built around what you thought you should do, not what you actually want. The feeling is a signal that something no longer fits, not proof that you're failing.
Is feeling like a stranger in your own life the same as imposter syndrome?
They overlap. Imposter syndrome is usually about doubting your ability. Feeling like an imposter in your own life is more about a life that doesn't feel like yours anymore. If it's heavy or it won't lift, talk to your GP or a psychologist.
How do I find myself again after burnout?
Start by cutting back what you consume, because it shapes what you think you should be. Then get clear on what you want before worrying about how, and give yourself a week of doing what feels true instead of what performs.
I feel lost in my career. What do I do first?
Stop comparing, and ask what you actually want to be known for. Brain-dump everything without filtering, then look for the threads that light you up. Clarity tends to come after the mess, not before it.
First published on Henny's Substack.
Fourteen questions, about three minutes. See which area is keeping you stuck.
Get your free glow up score Rather talk it through? DM Henny on InstagramFounder of Feel Good Naked. She's coached over 1,000 women to build the discipline, structure and confidence to change their bodies and their lives.
